The Anonymous Production Assistant

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Always Bring Candles

Production offices celebrate more birthday parties than Chuck E. Cheese. And they’re usually spontaneous. Someone notices on Facebook that the creepy girl from accounting is celebrating a birthday. Quick! Send a P.A. to CVS to buy a funny, unoffensive card. Quick! Send another P.A. to get a cake (cost of cake correlates to position in the office). Quick! Get everyone to sign the card, even though we barely know this girl and therefore can’t say anything personal on the card.

Sometime in the afternoon, everyone’s standing in the kitchen, when suddenly, there’s a panic. WE DON’T HAVE CANDLES! SHUT THIS MOVIE DOWN, WE DON’T HAVE CANDLES!

Here’s your chance to be a hero. You reach into your desk and pull out candles and a lighter.

Against the odds, this tremendous waste of time and money can continue… all thanks to your candles.

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One Response

  1. Why doesn’t the production office have an office supply room full of negotiated cost, low-quality candles, lighters, cake, and unoffensive birthday cards? When you become the Distinctively Known Blogger, would you make this a possibility?

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