The Anonymous Production Assistant

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Dark Roast

Coffee. Oh, how I love thee. You’re my favorite thing outside of my iPhone and pictures of fail on the internet. And guess, what, everyone else around here loves you too!

That is why I became hero for a day when I suggested to the coordinator if I should hit up Starbucks during my run, if there was something she wanted. Her eyes lit up like the screen she’d been staring at all day. “YES! A mocha-choca-latta etcetera.” The line producer across the way overheard and immediately asked to be included. The info wave rode the office and I ended up getting orders for most of the keys in the department. Very complicated orders, but that’s why assistants are always armed with pen and paper, though in my case not necessarily good handwriting.

Coming back I was hero of the day. Most Loved Person.

Yeah, I’m the Coffee Bitch, but the only way to restore my sanity as an underling is to make lemons out of lemonade. Coffee may be mundane but it runs the place. In that perspective, I do have a quiet importance. In fact, these little things are key to a properly functioning office, a properly happy office. PA’s, therefore, really are important. We’re morale boosters, cheerleaders, and vaults for people’s grievances. They can’t bitch to their co-workers but they can talk to you, as long as you’re a good friend and can keep a secret. You keep that in mind as you run to Starbucks with a shopping list of specifics, that providing comfort and happiness allows your colleagues to do their job better. That makes you just as important as anyone else, and also places you in a different sort of work relationship than the sensitive ones they have with their constituents, something  very valuable that later yields fruit.

So do your little tasks with pride. They do matter. I sincerely enjoy making coffee runs for my office; they love ’em, and they associate me with positive vibes. I honestly don’t mind exploiting this pavlovian response to be seen as a person rather than just a PA, really whatever works. A positive attitude wins everyone over.

Plus I got my own non-fat soy grande skinny chai latte to enjoy myself out of the deal.
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One Response

  1. Hmmm. Most of the studio accountants I’ve dealt with lately automatically disallow any Starbucks receipts…even if they’re cheaper than identical orders from some other coffee boutique.

    BTW…On some shows I run an “Employee of the Week” competition (totally subjective judging open to bribery), and the prize is usually the choice of a daily parking space near set or a coffee drink delivered to the winner every day after lunch. Most people choose the coffee. 🙂

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