Picky Picky

Whether you’re on set or in the office, lunch is always provided (unless you work on a cheap-ass reality show; then all bets are off).

Of course, if you’re somewhere else, as I am right now,* you might miss out on the food. If you’re lucky, someone will remember to set aside a plate for you. If you’re smart, you’ll ask them to do so before you leave.

The problem with this plan, besides the cold food, is that you don’t always know what will be served, particularly if you’re eating off the catering truck. Not a good situation for picky eaters.

I don’t want to be that guy with the bizarre dietary requirements, but there are some foods I just can’t stomach. Tomatoes, for instance. Cooked, raw, sauce, stew, doesn’t matter, it’s all gross. And tomatoes are in everything. ::Shudder::

So, instead of asking the other PA to make me a plate of dry pasta, with a liiiiiitle bit of cheese, extra olives, and four-fifths of a chicken breast, I just say, “Grab me a plate of whatever, but with no tomatoes. I’m allergic to tomatoes.”

The allergy thing is the most important point, if you’re picky. No one takes you seriously if you simply “don’t like” something. Who doesn’t like tomatoes? they think. I bet Anonymous will like marinara sauce if he just tries it.

You know what? I have tried it. I didn’t like it.  Quit trying to be my mom.

But when someone hears “allergy,” they suddenly imagine you going into anaphylactic shock and collapsing at your desk, drowning in a plateful of spaghetti.

If you’re not a picky eater, congratulations!  You’re not seven!  But still, don’t forget to ask someone to set aside a plate.  If you don’t, you’ll wind up eating a banana and some peanut butter cups for lunch.

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Footnotes    (↩ returns to text)

  1. That’s right, I’m blogging from my iPhone. All I need is an ironic 80’s cartoon t-shirt to complete the douche-bag trifecta. If you catch me driving a Prius, I herby grant you permission to punch me in the nuts.
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8 Responses

  1. Vegetarians usually have Moral, Health, or Religious issues.

    Which seems to hold more merit than just not liking something.

    But I understand.

  2. Tomatoes! Who doesn’t love tomatoes? I know a guy who didn’t try a cucumber till he turned nearly 24, just sad eating habits.

    Can I have some Pizza Rolls and Mountain Dew Mommy?

  3. One could also argue vegetarianism as a religious issue.

    By the way, if there’s a religion that advises against eating tomatoes, someone please let me know. I’d be tempted to convert.

  4. In certain cases, one could argue it’s not just taste but a moral issue. But yeah, I hear ya.

  5. A friend pointed this out to me on set, vegetarians get special treatment but that isn’t an allergy. So why can’t picky eaters get their own special treatment? Nothing fancy, just “we’re having sushi for lunch, want a burger instead?”

  6. I completely plan on telling everyone I’m allergic to all seafood. My mom is, deathly so, and I am most likely not, but I’ve been using that potential death allergy to escape seafood for the last 23 years. When Emily Blake said that if you move to LA you better like sushi, that potential allergy just got promoted to reality.

  7. As a fellow tomato hater (who somehow likes pizza sauce and ketchup … ) I applaud the use of the allergy strategy.

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