I was hanging out on the set today, and I overheard a background actress talking with one of the set PAs.
At a certain point, she asked “casually” (those are sarcastic air quotes; I actually paused while writing this to wriggle my fingers in the air): “Say, who’s in the office right now? Is [showrunner’s name here] in there?”
“I think so. Probably.”
“Do you think you could introduce me?”
Really? Is that how you think this works? Bat your eyelashes, and suddenly you have a part on a major network show?
Aaaaaaand, cue the comments section filling up with, “What are you, naive? Of course that’s how it works! That’s how it’s always worked, and how it will forever work!”
On a related note, don’t do a Google image search for “casting couch” at work. The whimsical New Yorker cartoons I envisioned are not at the top of the list.
One Response
Of course, that’s how it works! Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Quick story from my distant PA past…
Gather round while I weave a tale from a certain commercial that involved “running for the border”.
After working all day in the blazing Joshua Tree national park, I was completely fried. It was 9:30 pm, I was checking at the front desk of the motel the crew was staying at when, the lead actress (who by this point had become a close associate of mine after doing several of these commercials). Since I was “head PA (a term I still loath) I still had a bunch of work ahead of me, a shower and hopefully a few hours of sleep before our 5PM call time.
So while checking in, I was gazing wishfully through the window at the pool, watching the above the line vultures enjoying themselves frolicking in the cool water. In walks the lead actress in a bathrobe and black string bikini. Me, filthy from head to toe, in my dew rag, combat pants, tank top and combat boots, catches a quick glance as she walks in.
Now this actress went on to become the “tool time girl” on Tim Allen’s “home improvement”, so at the time she was “an up an comer”. She coyly asks if I could join her in the pool. Me, being the totally stupid moron that I am, (truly a George Castanza moment), I look at her stunning features and say, “gee, I wish I could but I have a ton of work, thanks for the offer”.
Fast forward to years later, via the friend of a friend, who then worked with her on “Home Improvement”, apparently this actress had a small thing for me. Sigh.
But I was waaaaaaaaaay too stupid to realize it.
my point is, if only I had said yes. That is where the road divided in my life. I don’t have any regrets, but I always wonder what would that path have lead too.
She later went on to marry a famous sports star. Would I have been just another name to her? Could my career have changed because I had dated her? You bet your sweet patoot, it would have. but I was young and dumb and trying to please the wrong people.
Life, ya know?