Robert gives us a lovely sentiment (in all caps, to emphasize his point), “DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.” I wish I could. I wish I was a writer, and a director, and while I’m at it, I might as well wish for a pony, too.
You see, sometimes, you have to delay present happiness for future happiness. Becoming a writer takes time; you have to work your way up. Yes, even independent guys, like Smith.
Kevin Smith was not an over night success. He worked hard. He didn’t just go out and shoot a movie one day. He went to film school (a Canadian one, but still). He wrote several scripts before he came up with Clerks. Hell, he worked an even crappier job than the one I do, now.
I realize I complain a lot, but I don’t actually hate my job. It’s just that “La la la, my job is a bowl of cherries, covered in non-fat sugar and simultaneous orgasms” isn’t funny. If I wrote, “Today was a good day,” over and over, I wouldn’t have the tenths of thousands of readers I have now.
A lot of comedy comes from anger and frustration; again, look at Kevin Smith. Clerks is almost entirely about how much he disliked his job. Without the dissatisfaction in my job, I wouldn’t have come up with such bon mots as “My car smelled like a hooker’s vagina for a week,” he had “the emotional maturity of an autistic seven year old with Asperger syndrome,” or “I’m that guy. Hi. Nice to meet you.” (That last one isn’t very funny out of context, but in context, it made Nathan spit whiskey on his keyboard.)
There’s one last thing. While I do plan on making it to the top, I don’t deserve to be on top, yet. I’m writing specs and shooting short films constantly. After time and emotional distance give me a little objectivity, I can see they’re not all that great. Some are good, sure, but good isn’t good enough.