Telling Stories
In keeping with this week’s sexual deviancy theme, I thought I’d finally get to the “…And then he woke up with a dick in his mouth” story. In the film and TV business, you meet new people all the time. You’re regularly expected to exchange pleasantries with strangers. This kind of small talk bugs me, […]
The Porn Ranch, Part II (May Be NSFW)
When last we left our anonymous hero, he was speaking with a man who claimed to provide 45% of the pornography on the internet. I asked him, “So, uh, how many movies can you shoot in your three week schedule?” “About thirty to fifty. Plus the photo shoots.” Maybe we has telling the truth. Sure […]
The Porn Ranch, Part I
When you’re making a low budget movie, you try to save money anywhere you can. Deferred payment for the crew, low-budget SAG contracts, and especially cheap locations. I’ve worked on many a direct-to-video feature, where the “stages” we shot on were actually just warehouses with sound proofing. (Sometimes without the sound proofing; there was one […]
Passive Voice
It’s a great way of diverting blame, but every once in a while, though, the passive voice turns around and bites you on the ass.
Vegas, Babies
One nice thing about Los Angeles is that Las Vegas isn’t too far away. Four, four and a half hours by car. Less, if you flout the law in a reckless disregard for your safety and the safety of others. This past weekend, like every weekend I’ve ever visited Vegas, I was shocked to see […]
Unavoidable Delay
Sorry for the lack of posting today. I had a plan for today’s topic (c.f. yesterday’s “…And then he woke up with a dick in his mouth” comment), but alas, it was not meant to be. Just when I was getting myself mentally prepared to write an epic blog post, I got sent out on […]
Congratulate Me
Today’s post was originally going to include the punchline, “…And then he woke up with a dick in his mouth,” but since I’m the latest recipient of the Brillante Weblog Premio 2008, I decided that sort of humor is beneath me. (For today, anyway.) I’d like to thank Gillian Horvath of Athena TV for handing […]
Luck
I believe in luck, but not in the way people usually mean it. I don’t believe luck determines whether or not you’ll be successful. I think talent, hard work, and generally being nice to work with makes you successful. It’s in timing where the luck comes in. I knew a kid fresh out of film […]
Falling Behind
Today, I saw a teenager wearing a t-shirt bearing the phrase, “Class of 2012,” a year reserved, until recently, for science fiction. For some reason, he wasn’t shooting robots with a phaser while riding a dewback on his way to Thunderdome. (By the way, I watched a documentary called Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Did you […]
Cha Cha Cha
I recently heard about a new service, called Cha Cha. It’s pretty cool. Basically, you just call them up, ask a question, and a few minutes later, you get a text message with the answer. An answer, anyway. The way it works is, they pay people 20 cents per answer. Which is great, because humans […]
Sleepy
You work some pretty long hours in the film business. No one works less than twelve hours, while some work as many as sixteen on a daily basis. Throw in a director who doesn’t know how to cover a one page scene before lunch, and you’ve got a week that starts with a 6:00am call […]
Not That Glamorous
I ran into one of the writers in the office kitchen. I asked how it was going, and he said, “Oh, you know, we’re trapped in that room for hours.” “Working hard?” I ask. “Not really,” he says, honestly. “We’re just sitting in there, talking about stories.” “Man, I wish I had your job.” Then, […]