Crackin’ Wise
One of our 2nd ADs just did one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. We’re shooting on location, and we have those “Filming in Progress” signs up all over the street. You know the ones, where they say, “If you’re in this area, we have the right to use your image and likeness.” I’m […]
Jinx
The other day, we had a stunt where a truck was supposed to crash into a tree, flip over on its side, then explode. For some reason. Everything was set up and ready to go, and I noticed there was an extra guy at each camera. I asked the stunt coordinator what the deal was, […]
The Highest Up
Today, I was on location, to get stuff signed by the UPM. While I was standing around, a set PA asked if I could go grab the executive producer (who was in a coffee shop down the street that had free wifi), and bring him to set. I wasn’t doing anything, so I said sure. […]
Giant Tennis Ball of Uselessness
This post goes in the “Things That Will Change When I’m In Charge” file. When you’re a producer, or a director, or even a department head, your every whim and wish is attended to by scores of underlings. You want a crane shot? How high? You need crystal plates on the table? Six or eight? […]
Abridged Scripts
Do you read Rod Hilton’s parodic screenplays on The-Editing-Room.com? If not, you should. Sometimes, they’re even funnier when you like the movie than when the movie sucks. There I go, aggregating again. Don’t worry, I’ll have a real post up later today.
But What I Really Want To Do Is Direct
People often ask me what I eventually want to do. It’s a tough question to answer without resorting to platitudes. It’s an old Hollywood cliché that everyone wants to be a director, so I try to avoid that, even though I graduated from what amounts to a director factory. What surprises me, though, is that […]
Parking
As much as I love Los Angeles, I truly hate parking in this city. It’s hard to find, and expensive (two things that I suspect are related, somehow). Street parking is the worst. Downtown, a nickel gets you two minutes. Which is about enough time to get to the door of the building, turn around, […]
How Many Members of a Particular Demographic Group Does It Take to Perform a Specified Task?
A finite number. One to perform the task, and several others to behave in a manner stereotypical of the group in question. I love these jokes. How many grips does it take to change a light bulb? That’s an electric’s job. How many script supervisors does it take to change a light bulb? You can’t […]
Killing the Joke
Here’s a classic joke, told on film sets around the world, that I absolutely love. A producer, a director, and a DP are scouting locations. As they’re wandering around, one of them spots a lamp. Naturally, they decide to rub it, and, just as naturally, a genie pops out. The genie says, “Since there are […]
It Won’t Happen Again
Higher-ups often ask questions when things go wrong– “Why are you late?” “What happened to all the coffee?” “Why is my dog dead?” I used to feel compelled to answer these questions. “There was traffic.” “You drank it all.” “You don’t know how to take care of anything other than yourself; it’s a wonder your […]
The Most Egregious Example of Journalistic Hyperbole, Ever in the History of Writing Things Down
I like Nikki Finke’s webpage. It had some of the most honest, reliable reporting available during the writers’ strike. She’s frequently informative and interesting, but she really needs to get a little perspective. Take her latest headline: URGENT! Warner’s ‘Watchmen’ In Legal Peril “Urgent”? Nay, “URGENT!” Really? The Watchmen are in danger! Light up the […]
State of the Blog Address
Usually, since I don’t post on the weekends, I don’t get many readers on Saturday and Sunday. So, I thought it a little odd when I received a few comments on a months old post. Imagine me surprise, when I checked my blog stats and found I had more readers on Saturday than on Friday. […]