Not Impressed
People often ask why I don’t invite my wife to visit the set. She’s a civilian (what we call someone who doesn’t work in the industry), so everyone assumes that she’ll be impressed by all the lights and cameras and semi-famous people. The thing is, she will never, ever be impressed, especially not with the […]
I Want Answers!
In this blog, I generally hold court on the few topics I’m an expert at. I am just a PA, though, and there’s a few things I really don’t understand. Maybe one of my kind readers knows the answers. Why is the props department in charge of the director chairs? Not that I want more […]
Life Cycle of a Show (Act III)
Step Nine: The News You might think that there is a fixed schedule, by which you can determine when your time on a show will be up. You would be wrong. Even when you can see the ratings drop week by week, the producers put on a happy face. “They’re giving us time to find […]
Thank You for Smoking
I make fun of and complain about actors a lot on this blog, but they’re not the only ones who are egotistical and disconnected from reality. A friend of mine recently got a job on a big, huge show. It’s one you’ve heard of, trust me. He was telling me all about their sets and […]
Save Your Money
When I worked at an agency, a good fifty percent of our clients were out of work at any given time. Those clients called almost every day, asking if my boss had work for them. I don’t know why they thought he wouldn’t call if he’d found work. He only gets paid if they get […]
The Life of a Juicer
This video probably makes no sense if you’ve never worked on a set:
“‘Dog Movie’ Screenplay Needed”
The universe is somehow bending itself to my will. I seriously wish I was kidding. From Craig’s List: “Dog Movie” Screenplay Needed (Anywhere) Reply to: gigs-916676856@craigslist.org [?] Date: 2008-11-12, 3:28PM PST We are a Burbank based production/development company looking for a: Dog Themed Family Film This will be direct-to-video low budget 2009 release. We are […]
What’s in a Name?
For tax reasons that I don’t really understand, studios generally create limited liability corporations for each individual film and TV show they make. Often, these LLCs are just “Stupid Michael Bay Movie, Inc.” or “Yet Another CBS Procedural, LLC.” Sometimes they’re jokey; I believe Starship Troopers was “Big Bug Productions.” Sometimes, if it’s a really […]
How to Move Up from Reality TV to Real TV
Reader Kelly writes: I love your blog, just wanted to say that. Thanks for writing it. Awwww. Well, that’s it for today! …Oh, wait, no. She also had a question: I have been working more and more in production, specifically most recently in reality. How do I get into being a P.A. in features or […]
My Last Political Post, I Swear!
This week, anyway. John Rogers has posted a clarification about the whole “self-pitying self-indulgent narcissist” thing. He didn’t mean for it to apply to all conservatives who feel bullied around town. Fair enough. I think he was referring to me to me when he wrote, “There was one commenter who noted that in some jobs, […]
Hollywood Conservatism
I should amend yesterday’s post. I made Hollywood’s liberalism seem monolithic, when that’s not completely true. I worked at a video production company where all the top people were conservative. They went to church. They had four or five kids each. They were married to the same person for decades. It was bizarre. The staff […]
I’m a Self-Pitying, Self-Indulgent Narcissist With My Head So Far Up My Ass That I Equate “Occasional Discomfort During Cocktail Party Conversations” With “Being on the Fucking Blacklist.”
Allow me to explain. There’s an article from the Hollywood Reporter making its way around the blogosphere, “Republicans in biz feel stifled, bullied.” (Their headlines are so creative.) Now, I don’t generally talk about politics, because that’s not what this blog is about. (Unlike John Rogers, who, in the last two months, has posted maybe […]