The Anonymous Production Assistant

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Film Set Confidential

Just about every call sheet I’ve ever seen had some variation of the following written across the top:

CLOSED SET
NO VISITORS WITHOUT PRIOR APPROVAL FROM THE UPM.

Just once, I’d like to see,

OPEN SET
BRING YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR NEIGHBORS, YOUR NEIGHBORS’ FRIENDS!

Same thing goes for the scripts. They’re all stamped “CONFIDENTIAL,” with a note that says something like, “To be read only by the cast and crew.”

Well, duh.

The stupid thing is, when everything is private and confidential, you can’t distinguish between, say, “Jack and Kate hike through the woods again” and “JACK IS TOTALLY A CYLON ZOMFG!1!!”

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