Who Hires Someone With No Experience?
Megan, who wrote in last week, has an interesting follow-up: You were right, I don’t have much experience. So far just one 3-day shoot for a low budget independent film and a few other things I did on my own while in school. Are there specific types of projects that are more likely to hire […]
On Adaptations; Plus, a Prediction
I’m working for a writer who is adapting a book. I’ve never adapted anything, and it’s a strange process to watch. He’s taken the story in a strange new direction; the entire book is basically just the first act of the film. He’s also renaming character willy nilly, for no reason whatsoever. I don’t really […]
Fun with Walkie Talkies
My wife says I’ve been too negative, lately, so I thought I’d tell you about some stupid fun a friend of mine got me into. Walkie talkies are omnipresent on film sets. Anything bigger than a student film uses them. Because of this ubiquity, the lingo we use (a bizarre mash-up of police codes and […]
What’s in a Name?
For tax reasons that I don’t really understand, studios generally create limited liability corporations for each individual film and TV show they make. Often, these LLCs are just “Stupid Michael Bay Movie, Inc.” or “Yet Another CBS Procedural, LLC.” Sometimes they’re jokey; I believe Starship Troopers was “Big Bug Productions.” Sometimes, if it’s a really […]
Oh, Goody! My First Reader Question!
Reader Brian sent me a question, proving once again that “expertise” is a meaningless concept on the internet. I really enjoy your blog — thanks for all the info and frequent posting. That’s not actually part of the question. It just made me feel good. I just applied for a PA position at a network […]
On Location
I love shooting on location. Mostly because it’s an excuse to get out of the office. On my current show, we usually go to nice places, like the park or the beach. It’s not like The Shield, where we’d be filming in Compton all the time. (If you work for the The Shield, and I […]
Rejected
I submitted a script to a screenwriter’s fellowship, and I finally got a response. Thank you for taking the time to fill out the submission material. We hope that you will understand that our admission process involves a variety of factors and that our decision in no way should be viewed as a reflection of […]
Akting!
I mock actors a lot, but sometimes, I really do feel sorry for them. For one thing, it’s the only line of work where age, sex, and racial discrimination is legal. You may be the best actress in the world, but you’ll never play Hamlet. You can’t have a black actor play a 1940s crime […]
Giant Tennis Ball of Uselessness
This post goes in the “Things That Will Change When I’m In Charge” file. When you’re a producer, or a director, or even a department head, your every whim and wish is attended to by scores of underlings. You want a crane shot? How high? You need crystal plates on the table? Six or eight? […]
Parking
As much as I love Los Angeles, I truly hate parking in this city. It’s hard to find, and expensive (two things that I suspect are related, somehow). Street parking is the worst. Downtown, a nickel gets you two minutes. Which is about enough time to get to the door of the building, turn around, […]
How Many Members of a Particular Demographic Group Does It Take to Perform a Specified Task?
A finite number. One to perform the task, and several others to behave in a manner stereotypical of the group in question. I love these jokes. How many grips does it take to change a light bulb? That’s an electric’s job. How many script supervisors does it take to change a light bulb? You can’t […]
On Screen
(First, I’d like to point you to an amusing post on Amanda’s website, about how soon you forget what it’s like to be young and poor.) In most offices, there are enough binders to create a replica of Stonehenge entirely from supplies purchased at Staples. My boss keeps copies of everything– every script, every draft […]