Awkward…
Some people are shy. Actors, generally, are not. A certain actor, let’s call him “Mick Molte,” would regularly show up on set wearing nothing but a T-shirt and a pair of pajama pants with the crotch worn through. And when I write, “nothing but,” I’m including underwear. (I must admit that I didn’t witness this […]
Two Businesses
All you have to do is not pay attention.
I Tell Myself This Sometimes
You’re not a very good writer. You’re not smart enough. You don’t know what you’re doing. You don’t construct engaging stories. You don’t know how to build a scene. You don’t build tension, and you don’t release it with comedy relief. You don’t know what’s funny. You don’t create three dimensional characters. You won’t stop […]
I Agree With Michael Bay
I feel so dirty writing that, but it’s true. If you can get past his poor grammar, rambling sentences, and excessive use of exclamation points, Bay has a point: “The leaders of these guilds seem to like the limelight they get in the press, it becomes more about the ego in the room rather than […]
Do You Just Get Dumber As You Get Older, Or What?
It is an immutable fact of nature that everyone is smarter than their boss. Sure, there are exceptions, but not everyone can be Mr. Alley. I remember when Google Maps first unveiled its satellite view. I entered the address where I was working, then called my boss over. “Hey, look. That’s our office!” My boss […]
Location, Location, Location
Yesterday, I was more than a little surprised to find my readership had quintupled over night, and Monday’s post had more responses than all my previous posts combined. It’s thanks to the Polybloggimous blog, and Nathan’s little web 2.0 game. I’d like to continue the meme, but first I’ll have to come up with a […]
It’s Called “Television,” Not “Teleolfaction”
The other day, one of our actresses was so sick that she needed to be driven to the doctor. By this, I mean she had a minor fever and wasn’t feeling very hungry. I’m pretty sure my mom would have made me go to school with those symptoms, but when it’s an actress, the producers […]
First Person Singular
Department heads often speak of themselves as if they are the entire department. I ACed for a DP once who was continually saying things like, “I’m going to put the crane over there,” or “I’m gonna set the camera here.” No, you’re not. You’re going to tell the grips and ACs, and they’ll do it. […]
Late Night Tours
PAs are often in the office (or on the set) before anyone else, and they’re the last ones to leave. It’s fun, because the inmates are in charge of the asylum, at least for a little while. One of my favorite things to do at those times is to walk around the set. It’s a […]
“Hey… Guy!”
His name isn’t “Guy,” is it?
More Like Children Than Cats, Really
Since I had so much fun bagging on actors yesterday, I thought I’d do it again today. I’m petty like that. Really, since I’m Anonymous, this blog is about the only place I can vent my feelings about actors. Everyone treats actors like small, fragile children. They’re never allowed to hear any bad news, under […]
It’s Like Herding Cats. Confused, Obtuse, Narcissistic Cats.
(So, basically, like normal cats.) Dealing with actors is one of the least pleasant tasks of a PA. Just shuttling them from one end of the studio to the other can be a sisyphean task. They want to stop at [glossary slug=’craft-service’]crafty[/glossary], they want to swing by the production office, they have to talk to […]