Where’s My Script?
A friend related a story to me recently about a well-known prima donna actor. Naturally, I loved it. Because it’s hearsay, I probably shouldn’t name names, so I’ll just say my friend was working on an unspecified Buffy the Vampire Slayer spin off, and I’ll call the actor, oh, “Bavid Doreanaz.” So, a new script […]
Keeping People Happy
EastSt said: Um, they are getting paid FAR more then you… Pizza and your gas money is a SMALL price to pay to keep them happy. I really don’t understand this logic. At all. Isn’t the fact that she’s getting paid more in a day than I get in a week supposed to keep her […]
On Location
I love shooting on location. Mostly because it’s an excuse to get out of the office. On my current show, we usually go to nice places, like the park or the beach. It’s not like The Shield, where we’d be filming in Compton all the time. (If you work for the The Shield, and I […]
Rejected
I submitted a script to a screenwriter’s fellowship, and I finally got a response. Thank you for taking the time to fill out the submission material. We hope that you will understand that our admission process involves a variety of factors and that our decision in no way should be viewed as a reflection of […]
Akting!
I mock actors a lot, but sometimes, I really do feel sorry for them. For one thing, it’s the only line of work where age, sex, and racial discrimination is legal. You may be the best actress in the world, but you’ll never play Hamlet. You can’t have a black actor play a 1940s crime […]
Jinx
The other day, we had a stunt where a truck was supposed to crash into a tree, flip over on its side, then explode. For some reason. Everything was set up and ready to go, and I noticed there was an extra guy at each camera. I asked the stunt coordinator what the deal was, […]
Giant Tennis Ball of Uselessness
This post goes in the “Things That Will Change When I’m In Charge” file. When you’re a producer, or a director, or even a department head, your every whim and wish is attended to by scores of underlings. You want a crane shot? How high? You need crystal plates on the table? Six or eight? […]
Parking
As much as I love Los Angeles, I truly hate parking in this city. It’s hard to find, and expensive (two things that I suspect are related, somehow). Street parking is the worst. Downtown, a nickel gets you two minutes. Which is about enough time to get to the door of the building, turn around, […]
How Many Members of a Particular Demographic Group Does It Take to Perform a Specified Task?
A finite number. One to perform the task, and several others to behave in a manner stereotypical of the group in question. I love these jokes. How many grips does it take to change a light bulb? That’s an electric’s job. How many script supervisors does it take to change a light bulb? You can’t […]
Luck
I believe in luck, but not in the way people usually mean it. I don’t believe luck determines whether or not you’ll be successful. I think talent, hard work, and generally being nice to work with makes you successful. It’s in timing where the luck comes in. I knew a kid fresh out of film […]
Naming Names
I was walking down the hall at the studio, yesterday (as is my wont to do), when one of our producer/writers came out of the bathroom just as I passed it. We did that awkward thing where you’re walking at the same speed to the same place, without actually walking together. Feeling the need to […]
Really Writing
I walked into the writers’ office yesterday and saw a ping pong ball and two paddles sitting on the assistant’s desk. I paused, staring at the ping pong ball. This was one of those moments you see in indie movies, where the character is contemplating his life, but you don’t know exactly what he’s thinking […]