Category Archives: Off-Topic

Fred Savage and CBS Can Go to Hell

I know what you guys are thinking. You read the story on Deadline about CBS buying the rights to a blog about life as a Hollywood assistant, with plans to turn it into a pilot. By now, you know that Fred Savage – of Vice Versa fame – is attached to EP and direct. So you’re probably wondering:

“Oh no! Does this mean that TAPA’s hilarious (yet admittedly infrequent) rants will be put on hold as she goes off to produce a hit TV show?!”

No. Because CBS didn’t buy this blog. They bought some Tumblr from an agency assistant, Lauren Bachelis. (In the interest of full disclosure, Lauren and I are friends-in-law, via Facebook.)

Great Idea for a Blog, Lauren!

This may have ruined my morning.

I Saved Latin

This is how I feel about the haters in the comment threads:

"I saved Latin. What did you ever do?"

While I appreciate the feedback, it’s tough to take you seriously when your email address is “MovieMan94@hotmail.com”.

UTA Joblist and Podcast

The new UTA list is up on the site.

* * *

One of the hosts of Too Much Film School replied to yesterday’s post:

Thanks for the shout out! I didn’t know we had any celwebrities listening.

If you do like the podcast, please give us a positive review in iTunes. Apple features new podcasts on the main page, if it gets a lot of good reviews in a short time span.

I can’t endorse his use of a made up word like “celwebrity” (seriously, how would you even pronounce that?), but I’m always glad to help people find new readers/listeners. I remember how long it took TAPA to find its audience.

So, if you like getting the UTA list from me every week, please pay it forward, and review Too Much Film School in iTunes. It’ll be your good deed of the day.

Interview Advice

Since I’m looking for a new job right now, a former boss gave me some advice about interviewing: “Don’t want the job too badly.”

People don’t like to see desperation. They want to see calm and confident. Someone who’s desperate for a job will say anything to get it; it’s impossible to judge if they’ll actually be good at said job.

Of course, you don’t want be too casual about it. You don’t want to have a take-it-or-leave-it attitude towards employment. If you don’t care at all about getting the job, you probably won’t care about doing it right, either.

My coordinator described it as, ”I would really like this job, but I don’t need it.” Pretend like you have several job interviews today. Obviously, you wouldn’t say anything to a potential employer about other interviews (would you?), but it would certainly make you feel better going into this interview.

It’s the difference between want and need. You want this job– it’s a good show, nice pay, close to your house, whatever. But you don’t need it– you won’t starve to death if you’re on unemployment for another few weeks.

Even if none of that’s true, pretend it is. Ironically, your confidence will help you get that job, after all.

* * *

The Oscars are this weekend, as you might have heard. I’ll forgo giving my predictions this year, because I am always wrong.

Instead, I’ll give you a link to a new podcast I’ve been listening to, Too Much Film School. It’s two recovering film students discussing (i.e. complaining) about movies at great length. Or, as they put it, “A movie podcast by two guys who studied movies, and not much else.”

I particularly recommend their two Girl with the Dragon Tattoo episodes, which are pretty hilarious.

I waited three and a half hours for THIS?

Looks like my uncle...

Taxes

I’m preparing my taxes right now. (Side note: I hate math.) I don’t actually “prepare” my taxes. An accountant does that. I simply go through a year’s worth of Starbucks and Jack in the Box receipts and try to figure out what I can claim as a write-off.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua: Tax Season

Gas. Do I get to write off gas? PAs drive A LOT. Granted, I’m re-imbursed pretty generously (50 tax-free cents per mile). But do I get to include it on my taxes? A coordinator I’ve worked for saves all of his call sheets and has his accountant assume that he goes to and from set once each day. That’s a pretty sweet gig, although I try to avoid outright lying to the federal government. I want tax breaks as much as the next guy, but if the government can create (and then hide) a time machine, then I figure that they’ll be able to catch me in an audit.

Rent. This one I’ve used successfully. After all, in between jobs, I use my “home office” to find my next job. My “home office” consists of a computer, printer, and $74 Ikea desk… oh, and a mug full of pens.

Movies, DVDs, and Netflix. My roommate is an actor, and he writes all this stuff off as “research.” I want to do the same, because – you know – watching movies will make me better able to photocopy scripts or fax in the daily lunch order.

Years ago, my accountant told me that when I started earning income from writing, she could really get creative with my taxes. Well, in 2011, I made $1 from my wordsmithing. I’m hoping that qualifies me for some serious cheddar.

The Unemployment Card

I’ve been on and off of unemployment (insurance) for the last four years, but last week, I was surprised to find a new debit card in my mailbox instead of the usual biweekly check. California, along with thirty-nine other states, issue pre-paid debit cards to people on unemployment.

Debit Card

Thanks a lot, government.

At first, I was afraid to use the card because I feared some government bureaucrat judging my purchases. “Hmmm, $4 at Starbucks and $9 at Baja Fresh. This person must not be that in need. Let’s slash his benefits by 50%.”

Well, I went and did some actual research instead of idle conspiracy theorizing, and it turns out that the Lease-a-Visa is INCREDIBLE. California has one of the best systems in the country. I just set up an automatic transfer. As soon as the money hits the account, it’s now gonna bounce over to my Wells Fargo account. I can make a transfer every other week, free of charge.

Stay classy, California.

So This Is The New Year…

I’m going to take a break from my usual rants about things that annoy me in Hollywood. The vitriol-masked-as-humorous-annoyance will be back again soon. Until then, I want to talk about new year’s resolutions.

We’re two-and-a-half weeks into the new year, but it’s not too late to write your resolutions.

Oh, baby.

“But resolutions are stupid,” you might be saying. “Everybody wants to lose weight and get more organized.” Yeah, I’d agree with that. If those are your resolutions, then they’re pretty stupid. (Dang. Couldn’t help myself. Couldn’t go three paragraphs without calling something stupid.) Maybe that’s why I don’t necessarily call mine resolutions, but, rather, 2012 Goals. A few things I’ve learned that can help you with your 2012 Goals:

Write them down. If you’ve got a journal, put them there. I put mine on 3×5 index cards, taped to my wall above my computer. In the past, I’ve used FutureMe to email them to myself. Hell, if you want to, write them in the comments section of this post and I’ll send you a reminder in 11 months.

Tell people about them – your best friend, the dude you’re hooking up with, your roommate, your therapist. Saying it out loud makes it more real, so say it to as many people as possible.

Make the goals realistic. Make them something that you actually plan on working towards. I could add Make a million dollars to my list of goals, but I wouldn’t even know where to begin with that one. A more realistic goal might be Make $35,000 this year or Get health insurance. Those are things that I know how to work toward. They’re attainable.

Make them unique to you. It’s easy to get caught up in where you think you should be at this point in your life/career/relationship, but try to write your goals based on what you want and how you feel.

My goals, in no particular order:

  1. Get an agent or manager for my writing.
  2. Travel to at least three states I’ve never been to.
  3. Buy new clothes.
  4. Listen to new music.
  5. Be amazed by at least one thing per week.
  6. Write two features.
  7. Exercise regularly.
  8. Read more, especially screenplays.

Happy new year.

I Hate Your Work

Except when their criticism sucks of course.

Recently, I got rejected. Not by a significant other or a friend, or even an employer like this blog usually focuses on.

I had a client hate the spec I was commissioned to create for them.

It sucks wholeheartedly, of course, but it’s a testament to my progress these past long years that I wasn’t offended, I wasn’t hurt, and I wasn’t begrudging. I was aware and considerate of “someone else’s opinion” while still holding my own.

Half of their reasoning made sense. I believe it was misguided, like a person who worries about the continuity of cigarette lengths, but I understand. Some people do notice that kind of stuff. Sure we’ll work on that.

Some of it was flat out wrong, but I wasn’t drawn to spite and anger at somehow thinking I was superior to them because I’m trained in teh cinema, and they’re just some yahoos.

Significantly, what I noticed were their notes of pure opinion. In this project, the direction of the casting, the choice of pace, the styling, it all pointed to a look, feel, smell, touch, that I felt was right for the product. I was clear on that, that we were going “hipster”, not “pop” (to keep up with those young people trends), from the treatment all the way through post. I never heard any criticism, so I believed I was on the right track. Now, after the money’s been spent, they’re honest with me. They don’t like it “in general” and they’re upset.

They have a right to be upset, I didn’t deliver what they want. I will do what I can to rework it to their wishes since it is, after all, their money. But I won’t fault myself for falsely advertising the idea. I won’t guilt myself into working slavishly to correct what was never wrong in the first place, since what I delivered was exactly what I proposed. I will not put in the grandiose effort of reshooting for free because of the client’s hesitation to speak up during prep, when we were still casting and choosing a color palette and shooting, and things weren’t locked and filmed and set in celluloid. Officially, I did my job right every step of the way and the finished spec is great, of course, in my opinion. With film, like with every other design company, there is only so much that can be guaranteed. I’ll try to help, but I can’t snap my fingers and turn a blue dress into a green one. You should’ve said something at the shoot.

People go about the endless subjective criticism that the film business doles out in different ways. Some play the game and lose themselves. Some get even more belligerent and obtuse. The smart and the determined are able to strike a balance between being Michael Bay and being Lars Von Trier. Really, I’m shocked that I don’t hate them back, that I don’t go all Paul Thomas Anderson and blame the world for not understanding me, me, me. Maybe I really am maturing, maybe it’s a sign that things in Hollywood are going okay for me, that I haven’t been beaten just yet. I haven’t let them get to me, but I am still allowing the osmosis of critique and improvement.

I guess the lesson here is that if you’re going to keep doing what you’re doing with a good attitude, even in the face of disagreeing gods, then you’re truly on the road to doing what you love.

Comic-con: Not for Comics Alone

international logo for nerd

It’s Christmas in July in San Diego. That’s because one of the biggest pop culture celebrations in the country is going on: the San Diego Comic Con, nerd heaven, and the film industry’s bucktoothed mistress.

The Con began as a regular comic book convention, but since the industry discovered it was one of the best gatherings for repeat consumers (ie: FANS), they pretty much took over, for better or for worse, and turned the con into a Disneyland of advertisements. The streets are walled with posters and filled with promoters handing out chotchkies made in China, emblazoned with stuff-to-watch-for, and there’s even an entire cafe devoted to the SyFy Channel where imagination is on the menu (I’m serious. Imagination is listed in the food menu).

For years now it’s been much more than nerd Mecca, it’s a real industry networking event. All the big people in film and TV come down here to be on panels and promote. interestingly, from the stars in the famous Hall H to a the more accessible costume designers or Production Design panel, this is the place where the celebs are especially happy to meet their fans. Sometimes they really don’t get why they’re here, they hole up in their hotel rooms, terrified of the unwashed masses and confused by their own supporters. But others, the betters, are out and about having the most fun they could have on the job. And that’s how they meet you.

Every year I attend comic-con I get into weird and fascinating situations with some really big players, running into them at bars and hotels and trotting alongside, party hopping, squeezing onto guest lists, passing out business cards like a fiend, but mostly just bookmarking great memories.

PAs ARE considered professional industry at comic-con, which means that if you have a decent imdb credit list or have done at least one recognizable production, you can get their free industry badge which allows you entry onto all four days. The more years you visit, the more people you get to know, the more faces you recognize every year, soon every street corner is another connection to something amazing. By now, the con is more of a reunion of industry friends for me.

The wonder of comic-con as a networking event, rather than others like Sundance, Cannes, AFM or others, is the fun of it all. A lot of successful people come here and drop their guard, more content to talk to their fans and have a beer at an open event, crowding into hotel rooms after last call. There’s no need for suits, ties, even heels, wear your costume and flaunt how much you nerdgasm over someone’s work; they will appreciate it more than you know. If you’re smooth, their contacts will follow you into LA and permanently into your life.

To me, SDCC is the clearest signal of work and play in synergy. It’s a not to be missed event for anyone in production who still has the heart of a child. In the no-nonsense, sometimes stifling attitude of regular work life, the looseness and fun of SDCC is a welcome relief.

God bless the con!

Solidarity

Carmageddon came and went and as usual, thing in LA are overhyped. The end of things passed and it didn’t make a difference.

Except that maybe it did…

Driving on the 101 Sunday night, I saw a notifier on the road said “405 is now open. Thank You Los Angeles.” Well, that was a nice thing to say. How strange. I kind of felt… good.

I participated in the hype that was the 405 shutdown-also-known-as-Carmageddon. I had family in town and we made sure to hit the Westside during the week and stay east on the weekend. References to the event were inescapable, though usually clever and beneficial; Jetblue’s $4 flights to Long Beach (and the Wolfpack Hustle bike race to beat them), really neat photo ops, and, to my enjoyment, Golden Apple comics had an awesome Carmageddon 20% off discount on Saturday.

When it was over and the city provided its citizens a Thank You, I couldn’t help but feel a sort of solidarity with Los Angeles. During September 11th (a much more tragic event really) New York came together as one  in a way previously unrecognized, but thats almost expected. New Yorkers have that in them, culturally, a pride in oneself and the city and the people that make it, be they friends or foes, they all make up a soul for the city. Los Angeles is disjoined, full of spite and passive-agressive frustration, where smiles are actually facades. The city itself is a blank slate, unidentifiable, which is both a detriment and (and this is important) it’s greatest asset. Literally, the city is what you make it. Unfortunately, the independence required here is often what drives a lot of people away.

But at this strange point, Angelenos came together in a pop culture phenomenon, however manufactured, and had some fun with it. There was little controversy, only playfulness and unity, a giant game to involve all locals and tickle the nation.

When it was over nothing had changed and nothing was really different, but for a moment Los Angeles felt like a unified, proud, and collective whole. We all knew, we all participated, and we all laughed at the joke as one.

And that was kind of cool. Yes, I felt like I was being personally thanked by the city by that road sign.

Except if you were trying to get to LAX from Malibu. This whole weekend was probably a different story for you.

 Time Lapse Video of the Mulholland Bridge Demolition at the LATimes