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Voice Mail

Pardon me if I’m stealing an old Seinfeld bit or something, but seriously, what is the deal with voice mail?

When I call my voice mail at work, it asks for my number and password, as you’d expect. Then it says, “You have… ONE… message,” and you wait.  And wait.

And wait.

“If you’d like to listen to your message, press 2.”

If? IF?! What the hell you do you mean, “if”? You’re voice mail! Did you think I called you just to chat?

Turing Test
Turing Test

And what the hell’s with “2”? What possible function could supersede “listen to messages” in voice mail? I’ve never actually pressed 1, mind you. I’m afraid of what might happen.

Let’s not forget leaving messages for other people. With some cell companies, like Sprint, you can skip the outgoing message by hitting 1. With other services, you have to listen to all of the instructions, in case you haven’t used a phone since 1973.

My favorite is, “If you’d like to send a page, press 2.” After all, who knows, maybe you’re trying to contact a drug dealer circa 1992.

I know these sound like minor quibbles, but I’m on the phone a lot. Stupid programming gets on my nerves, after a while.

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