The Anonymous Production Assistant

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Unhappy Birthday To Me!

Birthdays are always fun on set. My birthday, a few weeks ago, was a workday this year.  There were cake and balloons and singing and all that good stuff.

For the DP.  Whose birthday was the same as mine. The best I got was, “Hey, isn’t it your birthday, too?”

Whenever balloons or flowers or whatever came in, my boss was like, “Hey, Anonymous, wanna bring this to set?”  Yippee!  I get to carry around birthday balloons… for someone else.

When the cake rolled out, I got the slice with his name on it.  It tasted like tears.

I get it, though.  Really.  He’s a department head, I’m a PA.  It’s fine.  But then…

But then!  The producer’s assistant’s birthday was just the other day. He got a cake and a song and balloons.

Someone said, “But he’s the producer’s assistant.”  Not a production assistant.  It’s a big difference.

Another item for the Thing That Will Change When I’m In Charge file– No cakes, no singing, no merriment of any kind.

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