I realize that most of my day is spent using machines that were science fiction not long ago. I work in a medium that didn’t exist 75 years ago. I move at 85 miles per hour regularly, and I call people all over the world while doing so. It’s basically magic.
Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that Louis C.K. is right: Everything’s amazing.
So, I shouldn’t complain when things don’t work, but last week…
Literally every single copy machine in the building broke within a fifteen minute period. First, the office copier ran out of ink. So, I went to the writer’s office. After about three pages, their copier jammed. It was one of those epic jams where you open every single door, tray, flap, and drawer, but you still can’t find that one hole punch that’s sitting on a gear somewhere.
So, downstairs to the art department I go. Their copier crashed. Rather, the computer running the copier crashed. BSOD. Error 404. Red ring. Dead.
This shit didn’t happen with mimeograph machines.
It was at this point I had to drive to Kinko’s. Obviously, this is more expensive, but hey, I’m not paying for it, right?
I had to copy 118 scripts (who knows how they come up with this number), but I couldn’t just hand the master copy over to the guy at the counter and say, “Have at it, young man!”
See, this script is “confidential.” I couldn’t let the guy with the high speed, high capacity copy machine even touch these sanctified pages. I had to use the customer copiers. Inevitably, they ran out of paper, ran out of toner, or overheated from continuous use.
It took hours. Moving from copier to copier, bugging the clerks, keeping track of the multiple receipts. And you wouldn’t believe the glares I got from the other customers. I can’t imagine a less efficient way of doing it.